June 30, 2010

draxxie


baby Drax's basking stunt



gogo, genting =D



8 more days to this..


:D

happehhh!



June 28, 2010

T.T

when this happens, you can tell that I am in deep shit.

T.T

my fingers hurt so freaking much, all ten of them. I tend to bite my nails when I am lost in the world of programming. I am so lost that I am out of nails to chew on T.T dieeeee lahhh.



How did anyone survive FYP, unharmed?



and now you know why my fingers are fugly.


June 24, 2010

2:27AM, Thursday


I don't know why but I am feeling chirpy today =D



class tomorrow, without early morning date with Peter. yays!


I'm going off to bed early tonight, it has been a long day.


new hair, that looks pretty much like the old

but much love anyways.



June 23, 2010

4:00AM, Wednesday

thinking of the future is actually making me feel alone.

I don't know what's installed for me but the past always seem to be better then the present, for me at least.

not that life sucks currently, just that it could be better.

probably cause I tend to filter out memories and leave behind only good ones, and that makes the past better than the present.


I miss having a late night phone buddy =( if it isn't obvious yet, I enjoy telling people about my day, especially if there is someone who could communicate back, and not just to ask for the sake of asking.

huffs, if only I could turn back time. what if I listened more, and handled situations better. things would have been so much different, that it's mind blowing just thinking of it.


heee



1:57AM, Wednesday

ahh, I'm bored. and I am out of stories to tell.

met a new friend today. chatted a little bit about random stuffs, and realized that I will soon be out there amongst working people, and I might be the odd one out.

having a job would change everything. I am not ready just yet. I still have countless seasons of The Amazing Race, Two and a Half Men and Lie to Me standing by.

I am not ready to lose my college life, I am not ready to let Avril and Blink 182 go.

I don't want to settle for jazz or classical music yet.

I don't want to grow up just yet.

huffs.




What if they go,
What if they leave me far behind;
- Indecisive



but of course I am looking forward towards my new car, may it be a Myvi or an awesome Honda City, and a pup, and my 1M condo =D

I am young I have hopes and dreams, big ones.


June 22, 2010

12:10AM, Wednesday

replaying my entire library randomly for a couple of days already pretty much cause I'm out of new songs to listen to =(

well, tonight's suppose to be the night I get up and running with my neural network since I will be out for almost the entire day tomorrow, but Peter cancelled our date. so bleh, lazy lah.

done with Season 6 of House. skipped Season 4 and 5, but I wasn't completely lost. just probably got confused a little at the beginning. but all's good, felt like not much has changed, except for Cameron being replaced and the two new additions to the team. ohh and Cuddy is a mummy nows.




But things just get so crazy
living life gets hard to do;
- Maroon 5


huffs, lazy lah



June 21, 2010

:D


should I start with a new season of The Amazing Race or should I not?

I should.




:D



4 Seasons down only 12 more to go!



8:45PM, Monday


today's a good day.



felt happy the entire day.

woke up on the sofa after a long night of House Season 6. almost made Angelina and Melo wait for me downstairs, but didn't, we were late for class but blame the rain and the traffic, not me.

Mr Loh (the one I call Sir instead of baby, lol sounds wrong wtf) gave me the green light to proceed with Neuroph. went shopping at QBM. had otak-otak for dinner with Kev and Jim. came home to see a hyper active, excited little Draco welcoming me home.


and now to end a long day, I'm off to bed.



much love,




Mayday ♥


Cuts on paper hearts,
They can be awful deep.
- Mayday Parade


June 20, 2010

11:11AM, Sunday


a giant Oreo! O.o


weighs as heavy as my laptop...

too bad it's not edible =(



baby Loh's new love



=D

my new notebook cooler
<3

love the UFO-alien-ish colour!



tqs, huns buns.


June 19, 2010

:(


I'm in pain.


T.T




"I could use a dream or a genie or a wish,
to go back to a place much simpler than this"
- B.o.B ft Hayley Williams


not really into the whole rapping thing but God I love Paramore.


I think I'm gonna name my kid Hayley, gooded?




or maybe not.


=(



how can I be the photographer without the proper gadget?

sads.


='(

I was so close, now it's gone ='(


sads.

I'm lost.

and my project is doomed
T.T


I am like a Draco


I have the attention span of a Draco.


I could be talking to you halfway, and all of a sudden get distracted by something else. and this all happens without me noticing, honestly.

I hate engaging in physical conversations cause I get distracted so easily that I find it difficult to process what's the topic about. most of the time I assume, and give back some crap that I assume we were talking about, or just give a nod cause I find it rude to ask someone to repeat his or her sentence, just because I wasn't really listening.

I hate long lectures cause most of the time I get zero input. I think I place more effort in looking as if I understand than actually understanding what's going on. I take time to process stuffs and sometimes people just don't get it. you can't ask me what I've learnt right after throwing a new set of theories at me, I need time to go through them.

I prefer reading then to be read to. I never understood the concept of being read to, usually I receive zero input, as if it goes in through one ear and out another almost instantly.

I think there is something wrong with me. I think I suffer from difficulty in understanding through listening, in other words, I find it difficult to listen and focus at the same time. something like dyslexia but in listening form.



FML.


3:17AM, Saturday

tonight's a Click Five type of night.

their songs somehow triggers this feeling, it's sort of a feeling of far-away-ness, if you get what I mean.

you see, a close friend of mine has this Click Five cd in his car. and believe it or not, I use to enjoy sitting in his car, just driving around, listening to songs and looking at houses. and I must say, he is the best drive-around-buddy I ever had. he is calm, he keeps me calm. he says the sweetest things, and never sighs when there is a jam.

he told me things I never knew, things I never thought that I would be interested in, took me to places I've always wanted to go, and things I've been longing to do.

back then, I was having really bad days. my friends were at war, my grades were bad, I was constantly feeling miserable at college, Kevie and I were having a bad time, everything was horrible, the kind of horrible that makes you stare out of the window thinking what if;

I think I was abusive too.

but he made me feel like everything is okay and normal. he took me in, into his home, his friends. I never felt so accepted before that. like they were trying to please me, instead of the usual me-trying-to-please-others. I was at my worst state, the lowest time of my life, I did not even try to get to know them, or to fit in cause things were just crumbling for me then, yet they were so welcoming. it was weird, freaky even. I didn't think that I deserved to have fun, I was an awful person then.


well, because I am just horrible at keeping in touch, I think I've lost a good friend. I always do.

I should so very include him in my list. yes, I should.




"I never think about you,
but you're always on my mind"
- The Click Five




June 17, 2010

draxie in the morning


the love of my life <3


what the fucking super duper chubii stunt is that, omfg I am so gonna crush him into little pieces.

xD

embracing my inner kid, with Yu-Lynn

the freaking horse racing game at the Queensbay kiddy-land is freaking mind blowing


takes up all your energy, and makes you feel damn fucking old -.-


but it was awesome.



Yu-Lynn and Yu-Han
<3


last entry, promise

this, my friends, is called my postman bag.

it makes me feel smart, cause it is huge and A4 size stuffs, read: paper, books, files, similar educational stuffs, can fit in it just fine =D

makes me feel like a proper computer science geek student


much love,
I'll be on my way to geeky-ness nows, I promise.


Jimmy so pro!

huffs, I am lazy to get up and running for my date with Peter tomorrow. I barely had any progress since last week and I think that my FYP is doomed T.T

anyhowies, FYP aside, guess what?


JIMMY JOINED MAN HUNT!

Jimmy so pro!

it's yesterday's news, but since I am procrastinating, whatever works.


and I am all in support of Jimmy cause he gave me Lays; gave Kevin's little sister actually but I KS-ed them xD


tqs Jimmy <3

and again, Jimmy so PRO!




17 June 2010


want to see me play the guitar? yes, yes?

you are about to waste 2 minutes of your life by clicking on the play button xD

I suck so badly at it, I have no talent whatsoever in music.


even my hot guitar instructor gave up on me T.T he rather kill zombies than to teach me Twinkle Twinkle =( sads.



June 16, 2010

heeee =D

yipps! Genting trip this July is confirmed!!!

I so very need to get away from all this tension and stress. I so very sayangggg Jonana for planning this trip, and also Keviee for funding it, loves loves loves.

all I need to do now is to push through the remaining days. and start saving up!



ohhhh, and I am like so super duper happy cause Prince Charming took me for late night bak kut teh, and I was like craving for it since like two weeks ago, and now I am bloody happy like =D

aahhh, contentment.


<3



June 15, 2010

11:59AM, Tuesday


Envy is the art of counting the other
fellow's blessings instead of your own.
- Harold Coffin


June 12, 2010

Saturday, 9:36PM

I screwed up.

huffs, and everything started going south.

all I want to do now is to see other people in pain, emotionally.


Don't you know that misery loves company?


Saturday, 4:18PM

sometimes we get jealous of people and the stuffs they have, and that's when we start to forget how fortunate we actually are.

I get jealous easily. and for the worst part, I always get sooooo close and end up not getting stuffs that I want, while for some weird reasons, others get them so easily without having to hint or to work for them. and that makes me sad.

but now, I guess I am ready to admit that expectations is what that makes everything seem so wrong, and


I am better without them :)



it's a good day, peeps. and nothing can ruin it.



June 11, 2010

10:56AM, Friday

third day into my super duper holy moly plan, and it's going well, I must say.

the original super duper holy moly plan is impossible to satisfy, and so I tweaked it here and there, and tadaaa I'm good =D



the NEW super duper holy moly plan says that I should go to bed at 7pm and awaken at 3am. so far so good, just that my entire social life is hanging on a thread T.T

I find myself so much more in the programming mood at 3am as soon as I awaken from my 7.5hours of heavenly sleep. and that is good.

priorities. I hope I am getting them right, else, FUCK.



anyhowies, I have a little time in my hands now. that's not something that comes along very often these days; on which I shall put blame, for my lack of updates.


currently, there's this group of kids in the library with me. they remind me so much of my time over at Disted. they are young, carefree, FYP-less, all happy, annoying and noisy. they seem like a close-knit family, like the one I so very miss.

they share a common spoken language, they enjoy the same music, they have common topics and none seem to be lost in the wilderness when they talk. they laugh like there is no tomorrow, and that they will be together this way forever. I miss that feeling, just that.

that's one thing I could never get back forever, I've forgotten how to have fun, the future is becoming something so real, and scary, that if I refuse to grow up, I'll die a horrible and slow death.

throughout the way, I've forgotten how to just fuck it, and have fun. I'm becoming I've become an uptight bitch, subconsciously, for God knows how long already. sads.



oh, wait, I'm gonna google for a photo to make this post lively-er.

lol, KDU hates me, can't google shit. anyhows, here's one a Disted-mate drew for meh.
it's an evil flying Poku trying to gobble me
=\



June 9, 2010

:(


I'm sick :(


June 6, 2010

11:56AM, Sunday

There's nothing I'd rather do, than to sit with you forever;
-Shontelle ft. Akon


hearts Draco.


11:26AM, Sunday

ever heard of the six degrees of separation theory?

weird isn't it, like the programming mood hasn't kicked in yet, and so you go around peeking at random strangers' Facebook pages, then all of a sudden you go wtf is he doing in this fella's photo, then ooohh, childhood friends, then omfg she's dating him nows -.-, then oooohhh college buddies turned into a couple, then O.O she's this other girl's sister and the sister is friends with my friend's sister, I know them!, indirectly maybe. ooooowhhhhh -.-

I think that it is weird in an alien-ish way, yet I am all in support of that theory.

in a way, I like it. I like the fact that everyone is connected to everyone else, in a way or another. and that no one is alone.




with that, don't worry if I am a stranger to you, cause I am just, at most, six people away, according to that theory at least ;)


10:39AM, Sunday


I'll hold your hand when we drive,
and we'll lose track of all the time,
and we'll tell everyone
that we ain't never felt so alive;
- Jason Castro


those days never felt this far away :(


June 4, 2010

at least now I know

I am diagnosed ;D

"Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) is a sleep disorder in which an individual finds it difficult to fall asleep late in the night, and sleeps well into the afternoon if not awakened. DSPS has only been characterized in 1982, but increasing data indicates that various degrees of DSPS occur with epidemic frequency, esp. among high school and university students. DSPS individuals often like to keep on learning late into the night, go to sleep very late (for example, 4-6 am), and find it very hard to wake up early on a regular basis. For example, regular getting up at 7 am is a pure torture for individuals affected with DSPS. They often fail to keep jobs that require them to perform early in the morning. Very often, they tend to split the day sleep into two components. For example, DSPS students often get a short sleep in the night, wake up early with an alarm clock, go to school where they are semi-conscious and perform poorly, get a solid nap after school and only late in the evening they regain vigor and their full mental powers. DSPS students feel best after midnight when everyone else is asleep and they can focus on learning or other activities (reading, Internet, watching TV, computer games, etc.). "


apparently it's a severe condition, FML.


o0o

difficult for me to admit, but my current lifestyle is fucked up, like in a crazy ass big mess up sort. I will definitely die an early death if I remain ignorant of this obvious matter.

and so, I shall change for the better!

first and the most obvious on the list, my sleeping habits! this is bleh. my sleeping time is crazy ass-ly screwed up. I am currently nocturnal, and according to Mr Danny's theory of humans being creatures of habit, this nocturnal habit of mine is mind blowing-ly difficult to break out of.


Humans are creatures of habit.
- Danny Chen, 2010


and it must be noted that I am definitely NOT sleep deprived, although I go to bed when normal people awakes. in fact, I sleep too much. a single sleep duration can cost me 10 to 14 hours as opposed to the recommended 8 hours.

today onwards, I will maintain a good 7.5 hour sleep, no more no less. apparently it's healthier this way. I plan to live a long healthy life along side my gangsta baby and Draxie <3

I am feeling inspired!







fuck this shit, seriously the little black bald man hates me -.- another second upper from him lor, thank the heavens that he has nothing to do with my FYP.

what an awesome way to kill my enthusiasm o0o <- this is a Panda paw btw.


June 2, 2010

10:59PM, Wednesday

finished Still, Marry Me this morning. Kevin's mum and sister are currently hooked onto Korean Dramas and so, I hopped on as well xD


Still, Marry Me

Kim Bum <3
his killer smile, hahaheheheheuhuhuhuhu


anyhowies, it tells about a young guy hooking up with an older woman, who doesn't look that old, imo.


watching the first few episodes, made me think of this one video from All Time Low



they are well known for their random music videos. nais.



Cause I'm damned if I do ya,
Damned if I don't;
- All Time Low



10:02PM, Wednesday


Day one of my super duper holy moly plan == FAIL :'(

blame Loh. he come by my place just now and so I gave into temptation and took a 6 hour afternoon nap, nais.


huffs, date with Peter tomorrow T.T I'm not ready yet. I feel like going into hiding and reappearing at the end of the semester.

waaaaaaaaaaaaa, freaking fuck takuts lah, I don't know where to start.

I need someone to talk to =(


updates!

my super duper holy moly plan starts tomorrow! right now to be exact but uh so lazy lah.

huffs, since I'll turn into a lifeless geek once my super duper holy moly plan initiates, I'm gonna post a longgggg update with all the photos I currently have, including wayyyyy old ones. gooded, yes?


November 2009
Mummy's birthday '09 @ Ferringhi Garden

December 2009
End year trip '09 KL & Malacca



Christmas Eve '09 @ Yin Yee's place


February 2010
Valentine's Day 2010 @ Smoky Jack

CNY '10 with SGGS-mates @ Benvenuto, UPR & Sunset Bistro





CNY '10 with Kevie love @ Gurney and Penang Sports Clubbie


March 2010
Draxie's tank renovation

April 2010
bonding session with KDU-mates @ Bloggers

bak kut teh with KDU peeps @ some where across the sea~



May 2010
Mummy's Day '10 @ Spice Market


Jen's bye bye @ the Airport =(


June 2010
Su Ling's farewell @ Gurney





okays, lazy liau. I should really start organizing my photos, into folders, labeled and arranged alphabetically! omfg, such a wonderful idea. ahhhh, I will miss all the fun =(

I'll get up and running for my FYP tomorrow!


June 1, 2010

them;




happy days never last long;



couldn't have said it better myself.
=(

I miss you guys.
T.T


oatsie

pokes

moc

='(


super duper holy moly

huffs.

what an awful day so far. woke up late for a 2pm class -.- ran out of coffee =(

forgot that I have a date tonight, forgot that I have an outing tonight and forgot that I had to pick something up from Elephant's place tonight. fuck.

the days in my head are all mixed up. I've double triple booked people without much thought, thinking that I will be able to sort it out when the time comes.


anyhoos, today's class was all about time management, I think. 2pm is like 2am to me, and it sucks to have class in the middle of the night -.- being nocturnal is bad, and it will kill me one day. it feels like I might rage and start throwing chairs around during class, while thinking that I am in a dream.

it's getting difficult to differentiate dreams from reality. at times, I have to put in tones of brain power to recall if something is a dream or is it not, and truthfully I don't think that this is close to healthy.

and so, this is what I will be working on, starting tomorrow:

1. fix my sleeping hours
2. start coding my project hahahaheheheheuhuhuhhu
3. not neglect my friends, and to keep in touch
4. spend more time with Draco
5. eat healthier and regular meals
6. keep better track of dates and time
7. quit procrastinating
8. avoid from having panic attacks
9. save money T.T
10. don't know, seems cooler to have a 10th =D

THIS IS NOT A JOKE, I AM SERIOUS! this super duper holy moly plan starts tomorrow.


see you at the finish line.