June 16, 2012

June 16th, 2012

Freaking out is what I do best when things are going well. As much as I would like to deny it, there's this small voice in my mind convincing me that being happy isn't something I deserve. Easily influenced, now I truly believe that I don't deserve much. 

I need constant reminders that everything will be okay, cause that's one thing I can't convince myself to believe; too many variables, too many things to ponder upon. Honestly, I am just afraid. Afraid that things will not turn out the way I hoped. 

Over the years, I've learned not to place myself in line for disappointment. I know people change, I don't place much hope in the things they say. I leave room for me to get myself out before they do. It's survival. 

But recently, I'm starting to wonder if I should man up and fix this insecurities. 

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