July 9, 2012

July 8th, 2012

When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along. 

Now I see why people say that.

Seven and a half years wasn't easy to let go. How could it be, when everything about me was him. Being in a long relationship makes you lose yourself in a way or another. You become a We instead of an I. Your plans are always for two, it's scary to think of even.

Coming out of it puts you in this trance state, in which you learn that you are more clueless about yourself than you actually know. It was bad. Like I was trying so desperately to rebuild seven years of myself. I didn't know where to start.I can't even tell if I liked Japanese food, cause I really like it, or because he liked it.

Six months down the road and I finally found ground to talk about it. It was always easier to push it aside and be ignorant. I wasn't in a good place then, I knew it all along, but that was the best I could come up with.

It's alright, I can finally tell myself. Cause I've grown so much since last Christmas. It's never too late to start over.

After all, it's the past that builds us.