Confessions of a Draco Lover

9th February 2012, 1:48AM

2012-02-09T00:48:00.006+08:00

I've been this crazy perfectionist for almost my entire life, so much that it is only recently that I've learnt to let go a little, live the moment and trust that everything will work out okay.

Taking control of everything was what I am good at. I never thought that there is anything wrong with that, until now, as I take a step back and re-evaluate our entire relationship, I realize how flawed my execution plan was. I was the problem.

This time last year, I was stressing out like a crazy person, trying to make a reservation for dinner at a nice restaurant for Valentine's day. I remember feeling so disappointed and convinced that the day would suck even before it begin, when I failed to get a table. I just wanted everything to be perfect for us. I was disappointed that I had to do it all alone, I was so tired and frustrated. But the day came and it wasn't too bad, we found this tiny Japanese place and dined there as every other place had a waiting crowd. It was perfect the way it was. He never wanted any restaurant reservations, that was what I wanted. I was probably that much of a selfish person, everything was always about me.

Trusting people is what I am worst at. I never believed that anyone could make me happy, unless I do something about it. I couldn't trust him enough when he said he got it under control.

This year for a change, I'll let go and trust that everything will be fine. It's so much easier this way. Thinking of all the years I've been stressing out and not learning from any of them just tickles me. Probably I am just that flawed.

30th January 2012, 2:24AM

2012-01-30T02:05:00.005+08:00

I've been really lenient with myself lately. Haven't been giving much thought of the future and whatnot. Had given up on long term planing, afraid of it actually.

I've been cutting myself a lot of slack lately. Splurging, with less concern of the days to come. Doing stuffs that makes me happy, even if it is just for a slight moment.

All over the place, that's my state of mind lately. At times I feel like I need to snap out of this, but at some other times, I'll say fuck it, all that matters is a happy me (:

I'll just keep my worries for tomorrow then.

29th January 2012, 11:01PM

2012-01-29T22:36:00.004+08:00

been playing in my head the entire day.

hated the original MV, it had some The Wanted vibe to it -.-

Boyce Ave ♥

18 January 2012, 1:16 AM

2012-01-18T01:08:00.003+08:00

I guess it's fitting that I end up where I've left so many others. I only wonder if the world will be a better place without me.
-Dexter

I must say, things are getting so heavy lately. I am starting to doubt my ability to hang on.

Marathon-ing Dexter, and nom-ing lasagna. How so little time changed my entire life. Is it ever possible to replace them, memories?

It's no use. Everything still looks gloomy from my end.

15 January 2012, 3:13AM

2012-01-15T03:02:00.006+08:00

Anberlin - A Perfect Tourniquet Vidéo banana_split sélectionnée dans Musique

favourite.

2012-01-12T22:10:00.002+08:00

So why are we all ignoring the melancholy elephant in the room?
- Cleo

was reading this article in the magazine, and yes, admitting to loneliness does make me feel weak and I don't like that one bit.

Loneliness breeds negativity. I can relate to that, I guess.

12 January 2012, 12:59AM

2012-01-12T00:32:00.003+08:00

but we both know that I'm not that strong;
- Mayday Parade

It's the 12th.
but it doesn't seem to be of any importance anymore,
the thought of it is making me sad.

10th January 2012, 1:02AM

2012-01-10T00:58:00.004+08:00

sigh.

feeling a little bit emo nemo :(

hungry maybe. should have nom-ed dinner after gym. fml.

7th December 2012, 11:55PM

2012-01-07T23:55:00.007+08:00

use to be

reality starting to really soak in

need.to.channel.feelings.away

4th January 2012, 11:47PM

2012-01-04T23:23:00.006+08:00

I'm having this sudden urge to get myself new gear,

to invest in photography again x)

A yummy Nikkor 35mm f/1.8 perhaps.

Oh wells, it'll pass.

4th January 2012, 12:35AM

2012-01-04T00:32:00.003+08:00

i thought you said forever over and over;

2nd January 2012, 12:20PM

2012-01-02T12:05:00.003+08:00

It's the journey, not the destination, that matters.

And so, I plan to make the most out of my life journey in this new year. For what's worth, Happy New Year peeps.

Today I realized that I am able to make a significant difference to someone else's life, I wish someday someone else would do the same to mine. Self-centered, much?

1st January 2012, 3:10AM

2012-01-01T02:24:00.003+08:00

Someone told me that it isn't official until it is on Facebook.

Today, Kev and I sat at Starbucks and made it official via Facebook.

7 and 1/2 years is a long time.

So many memories,

don't know if I am able to create new ones.

but, I'll soldier on.

Kyle ♥

always a sweet-heart.

you said move on,

but where do i go;

31st December 2011, 2:34AM

2011-12-31T02:33:00.004+08:00

decided to revisit an old love ♥

30th December 2011, 10:16AM

2011-12-30T10:06:00.004+08:00

I not doing too good. I feel like the entire world is out to get me.

Waking up in the morning is the hardest part. Probably still in denial. Probably still trying to get sense out of things.

People say different people handle pain in different ways. I haven't found mine.

Faults are difficult to be mended. I think I need a bear hug. I feel like exploding.

29th December 2011, 12:29AM

2011-12-29T00:15:00.004+08:00

Christmas did not exactly happen for me this year :(

As if life skipped a day, and all out of a sudden the new year is approaching.

Feels like I am still waiting for Christmas day to come, sad really.

28th December 2011, 12:38AM

2011-12-27T23:59:00.002+08:00

Dying in a car accident, that's my biggest fear, right next to drowning.

And so when I was younger, whenever I have lots to think of, I'll go for drives, long aimless drives. The faster I drive, the more my mind blocks out thoughts to give way for concentration.

It has always worked for me.

On a side note, I think I need a new channel to vent. New roads to explore perhaps.

27th December 2011, 11:35PM

2011-12-27T23:23:00.003+08:00

cause sometimes you have to be your own hero;

soldier on.

26th December 2011, 5:56PM

2011-12-26T17:17:00.003+08:00

Nobody's perfect. Yet, sometimes I feel like I wayyyy more flawed than others.

I have noticed for quite sometime that I have abandonment issues. I don't trust well. I know I would never be able to. I find it difficult to bond with people, I hate talking about feelings. I know people would leave no matter how hard you beg them not to. And they don't fucking give a shit about you, no matter how much they say they care.

Cause we are all just human.

And that's why I'd leave, before they do.

Build a wall, stay behind it, that was the plan. Yet, sometimes I find myself caring too much for something that I forget about myself.

I have been awesome at putting up defenses, never thought I'd fail myself this way. I've always been prepared for the worst, never thought I'd feel so lost. Feels like there is too much happening in my mind, I can't comprehend a thing. It's all fuzzy, and cluttered. I am not good with this.

Everything is everywhere, I can't tell what I am to do next.

26th December 2011, 2:02AM

2011-12-26T01:57:00.003+08:00

I was once told that there is no use in telling your problems to people, cause 80% of them don't give a crap, and the other 20% are actually happy that you are in pain.

Probably.

21st December 2011, 11:45PM

2011-12-21T22:57:00.001+08:00

It's all over Facebook.

I want some :(

Happy tang yuen day peeps!

21st December 2011, 12:42AM

2011-12-21T00:34:00.003+08:00

so a friend of mine says that my blog is depressing :(

i didn't think so, but anyways, to make this place less depressing, at least to some people, here's a smiling photo of myself, with braces =E

second month in,

don't think I've posted any =E photos so far.

20th December 2011, 11:56PM

2011-12-20T23:38:00.003+08:00

spotted this in a local music store,

*smiles*

was tempted to get it,

but then again, year-end financial crisis T.T

anyways, hoping that they will be on the Malaysian airwaves soon

20th December 2011, 12:06AM

2011-12-20T00:05:00.003+08:00

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,

but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."

- Douglas Adams

not that my journey is coming to an end anytime soon,

but just; I'm feeling contented at the mo'.

18 December 2011, 6:31PM

2011-12-18T18:16:00.004+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I am doing everything wrong. Life, and everything. And for someone like me, I get seriously mad at myself.

I hate it that I tend to take things so seriously, but when I don't, something bad happens or someone gets hurt. Then I'll get mad at myself all over again for not handling it better.

Life is just so complicated. Probably it's just me, thinking way too much than I should.

9th December 2011

2011-12-09T21:04:00.006+08:00

Since my parents separated, my mum has always been telling me to be an independent person, and that being dependent will always put you at the losing end.

She said that being independent is something new to herself as well, and that we are going to work at it together.

I guess throughout the years I became too independent of a person, and we started to drift apart. It came to a point that I started to question her role in bringing me up. I started to feel like a burden to her, and instead of being grateful to her for bringing me into this world, I started to wonder why did she decide to have me and then let me grow up on my own. I've always thought that she has very little to do in how I turn out to be. I recognized her sacrifices, but I felt that she has never taken much interest in my development.

Today, I had my very first annual performance appraisal. The reviews and feedback I got were mostly positive, of course there are areas to improve, but generally everything's good.

I then realized that I have taken after my mum pretty much. My best traits are mostly of her's. Independent, detailed, systematic and organized. That's all her, she did made me the person I am today.

Dare I doubt again?

♥

2 December 2011

2011-12-03T00:13:00.005+08:00

Blood donation,

it's one thing I never thought I'd experience

but today I faced my fears and went through with it :D

super proud of myself

the nurses who tended to me were awesome, especially the one who took out the needle. she was asking me a question and while i was thinking, she pop-ed the needle out, then I realized that she wasn't exactly interested with what my answer would be. Awesome skill that was.

Another milestone accomplished :D

btw, I'm an O+

Happy Birthday Draco ♥

2011-12-02T23:13:00.002+08:00

Happy 8th Birthday, baby!

♥

10:48PM, 1 December 2011

2011-12-01T22:47:00.002+08:00

"Always code as if the person who will maintain your code is a maniac serial killer that knows where you live."

True enough.

2:34 AM, 1 December 2011

2011-12-01T02:25:00.001+08:00

"i don't let a lot of people in here. it's kinda obvious that i'm overcompensating for something."

sometimes i feel that i am beyond flawed :(

11:16PM, 27 November 2011

2011-11-27T23:15:00.002+08:00

wise words

11:37AM, 27November2011

2011-11-27T11:23:00.002+08:00

Cause we're the lucky ones,

On every road.

- old ♥

12:40AM, 26 November 2011

2011-11-26T00:29:00.004+08:00

so here's the thing: the latest installment of twilight did not keep me on my toes. honestly, i thought the cast is over rated, the acting is beyond horrible and the plot, wayyyy too draggy for my liking.

and Jacob isn't as hot as I remembered him to be. sigh, bad movie all together.

but then again, lately I've been a tough critic. I did not enjoy Paranormal Activity 3 as much as I should have, and I thought that Immortals could have been better.

probably it's work stress :(

11:49PM, 24th November 2011

2011-11-24T23:35:00.002+08:00

Although I'm rearranging,

I'm still here, I'm never far away.

-Craving Lucy

pwned PBIM 2011

2011-11-23T23:04:00.002+08:00

best unexpected achievement since SPM

rarwww, I'm pumped for next year's

20th November 2011

2011-11-20T18:42:00.004+08:00

20.11.2011

Broke my own personal record.

Super tiring, but what an awesome experience it was.

One thing I learned from it is that, pictures lie.

remember this pic from my previous entry?

IT'S A LIE!!

the journey on the bridge, especially, was never ending.

it is definitely further than what is shown in the picture.

huffs, I thought I was gonna die T.T

but a total must-do, I would say.

Best achievement so far.

with that, first real marathon, completed :D

22hours 41minutes til PBIM2011

2011-11-19T02:09:00.005+08:00

Last year, I survived the 10km fun run.

This year, I'm doubling it up.

HALF MARATHON

21km

no kidding.

super super super nervous, I tell you.

oh.my.god

11:48PM, 17th November 2011

2011-11-17T23:48:00.004+08:00

huffs, I am not liking Mayday Parade's new album as much as I thought I would. and that's making me sad :( :(

"Well, everybody's got a good reason why,

If we could only just get it right."

10:22PM, 17th November 2011

2011-11-17T22:20:00.001+08:00

regrets,

we all have them

10th November 2011

2011-11-10T22:46:00.006+08:00

The past is like a handful of dust.

It filters through your fingers, disappearing little by little.

-Katy Perry

Perfectly said.

About an hour to 11/11/11. Seemed like something to shout about.

16th October 2011

2011-10-16T21:07:00.005+08:00

it was a good good week. kev and i turned 23. felt lots of love from our friends and family. both of us got ourselves a Samsung Galaxy S2, and so now we have couple phones :)

went down to kl for the weekend to surprise kev. on the way home now, time do fly by. sigh.

8th October 2011

2011-10-09T02:19:00.003+08:00

First Saturday since Kev left for KL :( Honestly, I think I've forgotten how to live on my own. I constantly feel empty. And when I'm hungry, this little part of my mind immediately thinks of calling Kevin :D I am not good at being alone here :(

But all's well, cause I've got my girls with me today. We drove over the sea for yummy seafood, and they got me a mango cake and a new super soft leather case for my new S2 :D :D how very thoughtful.

super love love love them to bits.

what would've become of me if I did not have them.

turning 23 in, um, 5 days!

worth sharing (:

2011-10-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

life has hidden blessings.

:( :(

2011-10-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

On a side note, my all time favorite, All Time Low is touching Malaysian soil tomorrow!

But I am not able to get myself to KL to catch them. Double sadnes :( :(

rip Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T22:53:00.003+08:00

Today Steve Jobs died. I've always been a fan of his. It's a sad day.

Both himself and Randy Pausch died of pancreatic cancer. The two people I look up to. This is not right :(

Another new toy :D

2011-10-05T23:18:00.006+08:00

Before I start off,

two weeks ago, I got myself a new toy :D

A Samsung Galaxy SII :D

Every geek's dream.

Awesome phone. The only most significant flaw, to me, is that it does not have a dedicated physical shutter button for it's camera which makes cam-whoring a difficult task :( but I've just installed an app that solves that issue, so all's well again :D Other than that, the screen is a little too big for my liking. I'd have to stretch my thumb all the way to reach the other end of the screen. Also, the battery life sucks, but boyfiee had installed some new firmware thingy that had minimize that issue as well.

Anyhows, today Apple announced it's new iPhone. Pretty much a disappointment to all of us, yes, including myself. Apple decided to come up with an iPhone 4s instead of an iPhone 5. Sad. The entire world was anticipating for an iPhone5 :(

From the little I know of the new iPhone 4s, imo, Apple is just losing it. GalaxyS2 ftw. I bet Apple is preparing a hugeee come back with iPhone5 next year. With that, personally, I wouldn't get myself an iPhone 4s just yet.

Sigh, honestly I was eagerly waiting for the new iPhone like a crazy Apple fan-girl. But resorted to an S2 cause waiting was making me grumpy. And also, cause Kev was quite persistent on getting me a smartphone before he leaves to KL. Seeing the new iPhone, seems like S2 was the right choice after all.

Watched iPhone 4s' promo video on my S2 on my way home from work. I must say Apple's marketing skills are definitely the best in the market. I actually did fall for the new iPhone while watching the video. But when the video came to an end, I started to doubt Siri's performance. In the video, communicating with Siri seem so smooth and cool. But, natural language and speech processing, it is never as smooth as it seems. And to think about it again, only Siri caught my attention, the other dual core processor, HD video watatata was just hehh, cause my S2 somewhat have them already :D

11:58pm, 3rd October 2011

2011-10-03T23:55:00.005+08:00

Kev is leaving for KL tomorrow morning.

Sad, I am tonight.

Huffs, sad and proud at the same time.

Such complicated emotions.

What if there's no goodbye?

Frozen for a moment here in time;

- Faber Drive

♥

source

First Degree :D

2011-10-02T09:48:00.004+08:00

This was a year ago, with my seniors:

It's finally my turn today :D

A milestone, my super awesome lecturer/second-marker will say. I'm officially graduating today! Officially as in, some Professor will be shifting the tassel on my mortarboard to the left :D

Super excited.

Hopefully I won't trip and fall.

First in line, babehh~

it's a good life

2011-09-16T15:13:00.005+08:00

The government decided to convert my study loan into a scholarship :D :D

teeheheheeee ~

*skips around in circles*

Happy Malaysia Day!

and at 5am tomorrow, I'll be heading up to Langkawi for the very first time. super excited. cuti-cuti Malaysia~

Soon Joo's wedding x)

2011-09-02T11:01:00.004+08:00

My first wedding photo shoot.

Done (:

certainly an awesome experience, but I think I'll remain a programmer first and a photographer last. Sigh, I am horrible at it ): Weddings aren't much fun when you're the photographer. And so I have decided to leave all future weddings to skilled photographers.

29 August 2011

2011-08-29T12:48:00.003+08:00

I guess, when you come from a broken home like mine, every once in a while you'll wonder if it became the way it is because of you. I grew up believing that I was the cause of the break up. No one ever said anything, and I guess that's the worst part of it all. I never felt like I belong to any where or to anyone. I guess I was caught in between, neither side wanted to take claim.

It wasn't until recently that I decided that it wasn't my fault, and that I could have turned out worst, but I did not. And I am happy to have achieved that.

But today's one of those days. Found this box of old photographs, realized that they had none taken with me. None as a family, sigh, the reality. Makes me feel like disappearing from everyone's life, for good. fml.

They look like a family before I came along.

and yes, I have a brother.

also realized that he's kinda cute when he was a kid.

On a brighter note, I'll be heading to the bank in a bit to get my car registration card, or something like that. Apparently I need it to renew my road tax. In other words, my road tax is due, meaning my l33t mobile is almost a year old!

you're not a hero..

2011-08-23T23:37:00.003+08:00

cause if we stand for nothing;

we'll fall for anything.

- ATL ♥

story of my life ):

non-angry pig ♥

2011-08-21T00:49:00.004+08:00

I must be the poorest working adult, ever T.T

Until yesterday, I only had 16 bucks in my bank account, yes, sixteen miserable bucks T.T super sad. and it's another full 7 days to pay day.

I couldn't even purchase the cute little pair of hippo earphones online because I had insufficient balance to proceed. fml.

sigh.

how long till your surrender?

- Neon Trees

Never.

I shall persevere.

♥

2011-08-20T12:58:00.002+08:00

Adam Levine ♥

Make me your radio;

Turn me up when you feel low.

August 17, 2011

2011-08-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

i wouldn't know what to say if i had you..

2011-08-15T00:18:00.002+08:00

ahh, memories.

life.

2011-08-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

Saw this on FB

Made me sad a little.

huffs, life.

elmo (:

2011-07-29T13:56:00.005+08:00

Managed to get something moving,

and my functional person emailed me this :D

Totally made my day.

Captain America tonight!

I shall persevere!

Amazing how such little gestures

can make everything seem better.

" )

2011-07-10T18:35:00.002+08:00

Well said.

Glad to have such an insightful Chief Minister.

:(

2011-07-10T17:50:00.004+08:00

What a mess.

If only our peace-loving Prime Minister had the balls to sit, listen and discuss the matter peacefully with the BERSIH leaders before the rally took place. Peace-loving my ass, from what I can tell, the protesters did not provoke anyone, except Najib's ego.

Go Malaysia!

2011-07-09T22:16:00.005+08:00

When I read reports on how the Japanese held onto each other in the aftermath of the terrifying earthquake a couple of months ago, I was proud of them. I admired how they managed to take control and unite as a nation, as if nothing can stop them.

Today, the same feeling came over me; but this time, it is for my own country.

Was kept updated via FB newsfeed. I am sadden by the fact that so many got hurt and arrested. I hated how the officials choose to handle the situation, disappointed really. Violence wasn't necessary.

But, I am proud; Proud of them, who braved through to be heard.

Taking a glimpse of the photos showing people of all walks of life, regardless of race, united for one cause. That's 1Malaysia to me.

Go Malaysia! Not all is lost.

go yell-ow!

2011-07-09T14:41:00.006+08:00

It's not that I've never noticed that the government of my country is retarded, but I think this is the first time in my life that I am truly feeling disappointed and sad for my country.

go YELLOW :)

green can wait for now.

July, ♥

2011-07-06T23:46:00.003+08:00

Ahh, July. My very first July as a working adult. Weird still, but then again I guess I am starting to blend in.

I am starting to give a shit about country politics, latest in-store gadgets, investments, insurance policies and even down payments for big things for say a house :D Being around real adults is really something different.

Being the planner that I am, I am starting to set goals for myself, as if life is a race. Tired, I am. But seeing the achievements of those I around me, huffs, blame it on my overly competitive nature. Note to self: Life isn't a competition.

Growing up isn't easy; now I get it.

We've got so much to prove;

Cause it's time to move on

And I'll start to let go.

- Maine, The

♥

2011-07-06T00:22:00.003+08:00

Tonight's a Lady Antebellum kinda night ;)

what if?

2011-07-05T00:20:00.002+08:00

Every now and then, I ponder upon what if.

It's just all too weird for my liking.

mayday love.

2011-07-03T23:53:00.002+08:00

Time's racing,

Please slow down;

- old love ♥

Lee Min Ho ♥

2011-06-25T01:01:00.004+08:00

Done with Personal Taste.

Lee Min Ho ♥

Sigh, took me almost a month to complete 16 episodes.

Sigh.

Been a busy bee lately.

Could hardly find time to write a proper entry.

Sigh,

what happened to my carefree student days,

I miss them so.

2011-05-29T23:06:00.002+08:00

Quarter-life crisis.

It's no joke.

atl :)))

2011-05-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

IT'S COMING!

June 7th, 2011

exxxcittteeeddddd

but then again, their new songs are too mainstream for my liking.

huffs, their previous albums are classics,

how could this ever top them.

but complain, I shall not.

Life's good.

-.-

2011-05-02T12:11:00.002+08:00

Fat people who remain static while meddling with their lame-ass

phones right in the middle of narrow hallways

are purely brainless.

Move aside -.-

himym ♥

2011-04-07T20:38:00.003+08:00

Barney's dad is the Trinity Killer.

lol

nothing much, frustrating day at work :(

had to pamper myself with lasagna and a dose of HIMYM ♥

I think when I am done being a programmer, I'll like to try out the food industry. It looks fun, pressing dough and what not. There's no stress in that, is there?

meeoww~

2011-04-05T23:30:00.006+08:00

I've sold Nikons for about 5 years, off and on since form 5 till my final degree year. But it's just a whole new perspective being at the other end, the buying end.

When I was asked what type of photography I am aiming for, honestly, at that time I haven't got a clue. Eventually I settled for a wide angle multi-purpose lens, for that very reason.

But if you ask me now, I think I've got the answer.

Animal ~~pornography~~ Photography,

that's what I enjoy.

sneak peak (:

2011-04-05T23:16:00.004+08:00

KDU-mates took me out to test run my new Tammy.

03.04.11

will upload more,

for now, it's bedtime :D

6th month

2011-04-02T23:47:00.002+08:00

As of 20th March 2011,

I've officially become a SAP consultant.

Also, it marks my 6th month as a working adult.

A milestone;
as my lecture, Mr Loh, would put it.

Boss treated us dinner @ TGIF,

happy-ness :D

my new toy :D

2011-04-02T21:57:00.003+08:00

Have you heard?

I bought myself a new toy,

tadaaaaa...

I would like to think of it as a gift from me to me for successfully obtaining my Bachelor's degree, but then again, I already bought myself a car for that reason.

jajajjajajaj,

It's a Nikon+Tamron hybrid,

in other wolds it's a half-blood like Harry Potter xD

Tammy ♥
@ f/2.8

:(

2011-03-27T13:41:00.001+08:00

All Time Low's new album got postponed, again.

I am sad.

1337

2011-03-27T12:39:00.002+08:00

1337

the.pro.number.

Earth Hour '11

2011-03-26T13:10:00.003+08:00

Our planet is dying.

More now than ever before.

I'll be in support.

It will be a yearly tradition for Draco and I

to contemplate and reflect upon our standing here, on Earth.

12:57PM, 26Mar11

2011-03-26T12:17:00.005+08:00

You know how I've been always thinking that there's nothing else after college, that life ends along with college? I was soooooo very wrong.

I must be living the best era of my life so far, wayy surpasses my study days. Life's tough lately, just being caught up with so many things, work, vacations, friends, colleagues, monopoly, the only me time I'm having is mostly the 30 minutes before bed that I use to log on to FB to see if anyone else is having as much fun as I am.

My plans are finally coming true, if I die tomorrow, I'll definitely be an angry ghost. Too many unfinished business :D

And oh, I'm in love all over again with Brendon Urie and his top-hat. Boss took us for a little get-together at TGIF yesterday night, and the waiters were in hats, and it reminded me of the night when I was driving home from New World Park after a monopoly session, and the radio had Panic's New Perspective on, it was perfect. I heard of the split quite some time ago, was reluctant to know how they turned out to be, but their new songs definitely has a thicker Brendon vibe to them. And personally, that's what Panic is to me all along, Brendon ♥

21 March 2011

2011-03-21T01:22:00.003+08:00

I'm homeeeeee from strawberry-land :D

and I am glad to be home.

Cameron wasn't bad, but it certainly was not for me, at least not yet, until I'm like 80 or something.

With that, this trip is over and done with. Trip to Thailand at the end of next month! Can't wait :D :D

Strawberriess

2011-03-16T18:51:00.002+08:00

I'm going up to Cameron Highlands for the first time in my life.

woooohooooo.

I heard there are loads of greenies.

Nibbs will be a happy bunny when I get home.

And for Draco, I've pre-booked his UVB light, and it's arriving on Monday!

Just in time to pick it up when I get home from my trip.

jajajaja.

awesomeness.

14 March 2011

2011-03-14T00:11:00.003+08:00

You know what I think? I say karma is bullcrap >=( It should've struck China and crushed the rabbit killing bitch, instead.

Japan's got it hard this time. I feel for them, I admire how they team up as a nation in the face of this nerve wracking disaster.

I tried to avoid the videos, photos and news reports. I knew it will be too hard for me to handle. This is real life we're talking about, ain't some random 2012-end of the world blockbuster.

And I was right. I browsed through some, and this feeling is just horrible. I'm feeling so heavy, scared and sad mostly.

For what's worth, Japan, you've got my prayers.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

2011-03-10T22:36:00.003+08:00

Everybody's saying something,

They tell us how to live our lives;

It's all lies.

Just let go, step out of the straight line.

- Artist vs Poet

Easier said than done,

but I'm on track to do just that - let go, cause we're here to have a good time.

8D

2011-02-27T02:27:00.004+08:00

I turned 22 a couple of months ago. Throughout these 22 years, I came to terms that I am not a perfect person.

I realized that I am a pretty messed up human being. I suck terribly at numerous things, I am most of the time moody and emotional, I am afraid of almost everything with emphasis on dying and being abandoned.

So yeah, I'm far from perfect, although Pink insists that I am fuckin perfect 8D

Anyways, recently, I've been attending yoga classes with Queenie, my new gym partner :D and I learnt that I fail horribly in yoga. I suck at it so badly, that it tickles me whenever my brain freezes up during a routine while everyone else is doing it so nicely. fml. Some moves are almost impossible, I tell you.

Well, my entire body hurts like THIS much. but it's good pain I guess. Sometimes I actually wonder if I am doing it correctly, cause I seem to be in more pain then the rest. fts.

But then again, I'm going for it again next week. giving up is for losers, some people say; but for me, I am going back just to see how much worst it can get 8D

ggagagaga

2011-02-27T01:19:00.002+08:00

Don't hide yourself in regret,

Just love yourself and you're set;

- Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga amazes me.

Satanic or not, doesn't really matter.

1:40PM, Sunday

2011-02-20T13:27:00.007+08:00

I think it's a new personal record, finished half of Season 2 and almost the entire Season 3 of 8 Simple rules in just one weekend. Two more episodes left, planning to drag it out.

I don't know, probably I'm just missing the good old days, basking around at home with loads of me time. Yesterday when I placed the laptop on the coffee table and got comfortable on the sofa, I realized that it has been a while since I last did that.

With work, gym, friends, Kevie, my pets and other stuffs in between, it is almost difficult for me to get back to the way everything was. I think I am lacking closure. Everything flew by way too fast. I feel like I am robbed of my student-hood.

And oh, stupid MV ~~boy~~gayband is down in Malaysia. They want to be, but they ain't All Time Low. The worst part, the radio station keeps repeating the stupid gay MV song like all day long -.-, it's a pain, cause it's mainstream music, and most are catchy, and bloody shit, I hate them but the song, it's almost stuck in my head. zzzz. Why can't they just bring All Time Low down T.T

Seriously the entire last one minute of the video is crap, like what's up with the firecrackers?

15th February 2011, 1:51AM

2011-02-15T01:49:00.004+08:00

maybe it's true that i am a selfish person.

but then again, isn't everyone the same?

>=(

2011-02-11T00:33:00.002+08:00

lighting up firecrackers won't please the sky god,

cause guess what?

THERE.IS.NO.FUCKING.SKY.GOD

even if there is, he won't be happy, I tell you.

My Nibbles and Draco are freaking out like nobody's business.

fuckshit.

humans are morons.

6th February 2011, 12:45PM

2011-02-06T12:35:00.003+08:00

damn those kids, woke me up from my peaceful slumber. yes it's a freaking rabbit, don't need to get so overly excited about it. zzzzz. dumbasses.

and damn those firecrackers, and those lighting them up. they freak my precious babies like nobody's business. and stain the floor. CNY sucks.

i have work tomorrow. i just remembered. fuckshit. life sucks. i want to sleep around the clock for another day.

ahhh, so lazy to get ready. zzzzz on a brighter note, going to boss' house later, get to see all my favorite colleagues! jajajajajajja

:D :D

2011-02-02T00:53:00.002+08:00

Punk Goes Pop vol 3

been so freaking busy lately,

only found out today.

awesomeness.

it features Artist vs Poet!

jajajajaja craziness.

:(

2011-02-01T23:53:00.002+08:00

what.shit.is.this.

my immune system's a piece of shit.

i feel like dying.

suxxors.

:D

2011-01-29T15:44:00.002+08:00

I loveeee this time of the year. CNY bleh, but the fact that my Facebook page is full of statuses screaming PENANGGGG, I am one happy happy person. In other words, my buddies are all coming homeeee, back home to me :D

Mad excited.

Off to gym, toodles.

Life, so far.

2011-01-20T14:31:00.017+08:00

Things have been fast moving lately, with just a blink of an eye, the 2010 is over and 2011's here. Ever since my FYP demo back in September 2010, things had just been so crazy, zooming by like nobody's business. Today marks the end of my fourth awesome month as a SAP consultant. It also meant that it had been a month since I was assigned to BBraun for onsite development.

Honestly it hasn't exactly hit me yet. Being a working adult is just crazy, never in my life I thought I would end up being an ABAPer. It's just crazy. It was just wayyy too fast.

Within these four months, being a member of the Brightree family was the greatest ever. My first job ever and I made it into such an awesome company. I've been lucky. Probably people are still questioning my decision of joining Brightree, being an underdog with no knowledge in SAP whatsoever, but honestly, I think this is the best decision I've made throughout my entire adult life.

And being apart of my awesome colleagues; it's a blessing on its own.

04.12.2010-Trip to Pulau Aman

and some other random places.

Pulau Aman, FTW.

It's that little piece of land at the far end.

We took a boat over, and I survived!

I've never been good with boats but all hail drugs, legal ones that is.

The Mee Udang there, tasted like heaven.

All ours ♥

The most awesome part is that my work buddies enjoy eating as much as I do,

and crabies and prawnies are our favs!

Sight seeing at St Anne's Church

My first time there!

Pretty awesome

I just had to :D

Megamind- when the new cinema above our office opened!

How perfect.

Sushi-ed after work :D

07.12.2010- Kek Lok Si, just like tourists.

I.honestly.did.not.know.that.this.market.place.existed.

Totally felt like a tourist walking through the narrow walkway.

Walking our way up to Kek Lok Si is definitely better than driving up there.

and I got to feed Dracos on the way up!

Hungry Dracos.

And I saved a bug from the bunch of vegie.

It nearly got devoured by those hungry turts.

Three shutterbugs, One camera.

Sucks to be them on that day, lol.

Fishies :D
Oh, I got to feed them too.

Old traditional style Curry Meeeeeeee at Air Itam!

It was just something very different.

The two old aunties were so very nice, and cute.

07.12.2010- Thai fud @ Bukit Genting!

Penang from where we stood.

Crazy yummy!

Oh and this is me bowling.

Whoosh, lightning fast.

jajajajajaaa

16.12.2010- Christmas Partyyyyyy

Everyone had fun.

17.12.2010- Road trip!

Driver of the day XD

I just loveeee leaving the island in the morning.

Dim sum for breakfast, some where across the sea.

Visited Por's new house.

Por's new house.

It's like when I bought my new car and was reluctant to remove the plastic covers.

Bird nest light. The eggs are actually the bulbs!

Me likey.

So very pretty.

Bukit Merahhhh!!!!!

Oh, yes, my second water theme park visit in that month :D

The almost 90 degrees slide.

It felt like suicide. Yet I went on twice :D

Gooded!

Some hidden temple at Kuala Kurau.

It was such an experience.

Taiping Lake.

and Crabies @ Tambun

I got the largest claw,

cause I'm the youngest

jajajajaja

1:10AM, 19 January 2011

2011-01-19T00:24:00.003+08:00

So ex ex ex boyfie came down to Malaysia like a week ago. Heard his interview on the radio, and went heh. If it was four years ago, I'll probably go crazy and book an immediate flight down to KL, screaming like a psychotic little girl all the way.

I remember that night when his song first went on radio. Roy and I were in the car, and all of a sudden the both of us just froze, I checked the CD player and nope, it wasn't my CD and I was like all crazy excited cause finally Secondhand Serenade was on the Malaysian airwaves. Took them long enough to notice him.

But huffs, a couple of years down the road, and I found Mayday Parade and All Time Low, while John went mainstream.

Going mainstream, worst idea ever.

Did you hear his new song? What shit is that. He changed. His old stuffs were a billion times better.

Huffs, I miss just this.

19 January 2011

2011-01-19T00:15:00.006+08:00

"The best way to make it through

with hearts and wrists intact,

is to realize two out of three ain't bad."

- Fall Out Boy

s.u.b.w.a.y

2011-01-16T21:14:00.001+08:00

New addiction.

Su Lin's Wedding-15 January 2011

2011-01-16T19:38:00.007+08:00

First and foremost, I currently look like this:

So very Chinese, I tell you.

My new hair makes me look fat D:

bleh. Purely impulse-driven. SAP-stress people say.

Um, so ever since I started working, I've been amongst adults with clear life direction, which I lack severely.

It was a little weird at first, people talking about getting married, buying houses, investments while I, on the other hand, is just getting started with life. And to make things worst, I started by making the worst investment ever; by buying a new car D: My proudest investment ever, yet they almost always throw to my face that it's the worst mistake. Bleh.

Anyhow, my first ever wedding dinner invitation :D :D

Su Lin, my Brightree colleague, who is also my senior from SGGS,

but of course she graduated even before I entered.

But to think of the fact that she walked through the same gates, and looked up at the same clock tower just like I did before, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I'm a proud Georgian, always will be.

@ Gurney Hotel

Work buddies

♥

16 January 2011

2011-01-16T02:29:00.005+08:00

Today has got me thinking of the future, of when things will fall into place, and what's next.

I am a planner, always have been and always will be. and in reality, it sucks. It's just too difficult to plan for things these days, especially. I am scared, couldn't tell why, but there just this heavy feeling deep down.

What if I wake up and twenty years had just past me by. I don't want to be looking back and wondering what happened to my twenties, my early adulthood.

Live, laugh, love; people say. Have I done enough of that? Certainly feels like I could have done better.

Nibbs

2011-01-09T23:50:00.005+08:00

Nibbles yang gemok is home

♥

Believe it or not, she used to look like this:

July '08.

So very goddamn tiny.

BK (read: Before Kevin)

Kev turned her into a big fat monster :(

Remember that one year when I went to Melaka for a week with my highschool-mates? That was when Kevin took her in, supposedly only for that period of time, but eventually he ended up keeping her cause we assumed that she was happier there.

At Kevin's, she had ample space to roam and binky to her heart's content. She was growing so fast, my tiny apartment was too tiny for her, especially with 3 other furry friends around at that time and a Draco.

Huffs, I think Nibbs have forgotten me already. We use to be good sofa buddies, we use to watch CSI together :(

She doesn't remember. She's afraid of me right now, I think she hates me for taking her away from her comfy home T.T Breaks my heart every time she freaks out when I reach out to touch her. She won't let me touch her at all. She looks so scared all the time, huffs.

We used to be good buddies

I miss just that.

07 January 2011

2011-01-07T21:43:00.005+08:00

wooohooo,

waiting for my driver to come pick me up for my

second almost-midnight movie this week!

gagagaga.

Ponteng-ed gym today cause my gym partners ppk-ed me, and the thought of going alone is kinda sad. So came home and did a 60% water change for Draco, well, more of a 30%, bleh tired lah.

Draco is now happy like a pixie and I feel like throwing him out of the window cause he is so freaking adorable.

Paranormal Activity 2, mad excited. The first one got me sleeping with the lights on for a while x(